I’ll pass on the octopus tentacles,” I say. We’re at a tapas bar in Barcelona, Spain. The table in front of me is creaking under nearly two dozen saucer-sized dishes. “I’m sure they’re lovely, but it really isn’t my bag.” The octopus tentacles is called Pulpo a Feira and is supposed to be a Spanish delicacy. Some of the other dishes are equally strange to my uncultured pallet, like poached quail eggs, no bigger than a 10p coin.

Others, like the sticky cheese-stuffed rice balls and the Spanish omelette with potato, go down a treat though. In the spirit of holiday-boldness I’ve even been adventurous and had a roll of smoked salmon stuffed with fish eggs. But the tentacles is where I draw the line.

After three days in the city it has become clear just how much the Spaniards love their food. In fact their entire day seems structured around eating. And meals are drawn-out affairs: Wine flows freely and there is plenty of banter about. Definitely not the chow-down-quick-as-you-can type of meals I am used to back home. Right now, for example, it is already 23:40. We’ve been at this meal for almost two hours and I know the last espresso won’t be gulped down much before 01:00 when we’ll make our way towards DBOY and its hard house beats or Arena VIP (one of several Arena clubs in the city) with its hunky teenyboppers.

It has taken me a couple of days to get used to the city’s time schedule. Barcelona doesn’t really get going until the wee hours of the morning. Restaurants only start filling up from ten onwards and most of the clubs only get properly going at three, and then easily push through till sunrise. In Spain’s second city there is no shortage of clubs, pubs, swanky cocktail bars and hardcore night-time hangouts. The Eixample neighbourhood (aka “Gayample”) is the epicentre of everything hip and gay in Bella Barcelona. Here, within the space of a few blocks, you will find close on 30 establishments waving the rainbow flag and catering for all shapes and flavours, from straight-laced city boys and funky fashionistas to all-out drag queens and hedonistic thrill seekers.

Metro is the clubbing destination of choice in Eixample and the crowd is generally in their mid-twenties upwards. At the entrance it may well have a sign that reads: Dancing to the left, shagging to the right. The air crackles with sexual tension. You just need to take a look at the choice of programming on the flatscreen TVs above the urinals for proof of this. During the summer its two huge dance floors are open every day from 01:00 till 06:00.

After you've kicked your dancing shoes out, there is no need for the party to stop. Barcelona has an impressive selection of saunas (eight in total) and sex clubs. Sauna Buenos Aires is open 24 hours and has a general mainstream approach whereas Berlin Dark caters for hard and fetish desires. During daytime hours the best spot to meet locals is Boyberry. It has a sex shop infront and cruising area in the back and they produce their own porn movies – mostly shot in the club of course.

More than just a party face

Tempting though it may be to gorge yourself on the city’s after-dark fruits, there is also loads to explore in the daytime – and ultimately it shouldn’t only be enjoyed with scratchy eyes through darkened Jackie-O sunglasses. The city boasts 4km of coastline and some excellent beaches as well as a reclaimed Waterfront area. The gayest beach in Barcelona is Sant Sebastià, next to the Barceloneta atheletic club, and for a clothing-option stretch of sand you can head to La Marbella. This is the city’s only official nude beach, so expect a mixed crowd.

Madrid may be the country’s capital, but Barcelona has always been the more artistic, eccentric and flamboyant of the two. Many of Spain’s most acclaimed creative geniuses have called the city home at some point in their lives. Picasso, Dalí, and Miró all walked its streets, and left their mark, but none of the artists have had a greater impact on Barcelona than Gaudí.

La Sagrada Familia – the enormous sandcastle-like church gunning for the prize of Longest Building Project in the History of Mankind – is without a doubt Gaudí’s most famous addition to Barcelona’s skyline, but dotted throughout the city are half a dozen other creations by the architect. One of the favourites is Park Güell, now part of a World Heritage Site. This expanse of parkland is spread across the Carmel hill to the north of central Barcelona with typical Gaudí constructions and I am heading there now, my head still cobwebby from last night’s fiesta which only ended a few hours ago.

It is pretty early. I’m not sure what time because I forgot my watch at the hotel, but the park is still empty. There are only some cleaners around with brooms and dustbins on push trolleys. A few runners. One middle-aged woman is doing yoga stretches under a palm tree.

“So this is supposed to be one of Gaudi’s finest?” I ask a middle-aged bloke on one of the benches who is taking a break from walking his dog. He shrugs. Then gets up, pulls on the leash to get his dog’s attention – it has taken to slobbering over my sneakers’ laces – and heads down one of the many gravel paths. For a moment I wonder if I am in the right park, but a fellow tourist overheard my question.

“Gaudí,” he says

“Gaudí?”

“That’s how you pronounce his name. Gaudí. The emphasis is on the ‘i’ not the ‘Gau’.”

“Oh, ok. Thanks,” I reply. Never mind how you say his name. I want to know if my map has led me to the right park. “And this is Park Güell?”

“Sure is. But if you really want to see what this place is about you’ll want to go over there,” he says and points through a clump of trees to a brown rocky construction. “That’s the heart of Park Güell. We’re talking typical Gaudí. All organic lines and acid colours, you know.”

To be honest I don’t, but I do know when to take my leave. I nod intelligently and head to the wavy-edged pavilion he pointed out. The whole construction seems to be in somewhat disarray and is propped up by several disorderly skew pillars.

Turns out old Señor Gaudí couldn’t stand a straight line. Instead he designed his buildings to mimic the blueprints of nature: pillars which are knotted and twisted like palm trees’ trunks, terraces designed to resemble the flowing edges of a riverbank. And everywhere the brightly coloured ceramic tiles which seem to adorn all his work. The whole place has a dreamy feel to it. Like walking in the garden of a candy house.

Culture the Catalonian way

Gaudí’s work is a major tourist magnet for Barcelona, and back in the city you find plenty of other cultural attractions to keep you days brimful. Try the MACBA – Barcelona’s take on the Museum of Contemporary Art – for an understanding of where Spanish art is headed. Or for a clearer idea of where it comes from, make your way to the Miró museum. The Fundació Joan Miró is a modernist building constructed from glaring white concrete in the area of Montijuïc, situated atop a hill in central Barcelona with excellent views over the city and harbour. There are loads of other museums in Montijuïc, dedicated to everything from archaeology and ethnology to architecture and Catalonian art. It is also home to the Olympic stadium which hosted the Games in 1992 and more recently (and in this writer’s humble view, more importantly) Kylie, for the making of her filled-with-writhing-Spanish-Adonises “Slow” music video. Montijuïc is easily accessible from the city through a funicular lift and cable way, or by foot if you are feeling overly energetic.

On the lower slopes of Montijuïc you’ll find the Palau Naçional, an imposing sandstone building with plenty ornate frills and twirls. It houses the National Museum of Catalonian Art, but even better on a summer’s day are the Magical Fountains a short way down its steps. These fountains spurt in synchronised illuminated fashion every half-hour on summer evenings, and provide excellent (and free) entertainment before you head out for a late-night tapa feast.

Seaside towards Sitges

Barcelona has always been a firm favourite with gay travellers, and for good reason. The city has enough chic to rival Paris, fashion to take on Milan, and more beautiful people per square meter than anywhere in Europe (based on a completely random quantitative personal survey of course). And that’s even before you’ve made your way to sun-drenched Sitges.

Situated just 20 minutes south of Barcelona this must-visit coastal holiday town has something of a Jekyll and Hyde personality going. During the day it is all straightforward sobriety: families exploring its windy medieval passages while they tuck into Italian ice creams, pop into one-off designer shops or enjoy extended alfresco lunches on any of the dozens windy medieval passages. But come sunset, and the village swaps its allegiance: trading its button-down linen shirt for a tight fitting tank top as the boys come out to play.

It is hard to overstate the gayness of Sitges, especially at night. Turn virtually any corner and you’ll see gay couples strolling down the cobbled roads holding hands, and street cafés change into front row seats for scouting fresh talent, which sashays by as if on an endless conveyor belt. Being in the majority for once, makes for a refreshing change.

During the day the beaches are where most of the actions is at, with plenty of bulging Aussiebums and gym-toned bodies being paraded about. The main La Bassa Rodona beach is as good a place as any to claim your piece of sand, with the section to the right of the lifeguards unoffically marked with a pink triangle. For exclusive gay beach company head to the nude Playa del Muerto beach. It is 45 minutes walk from town, so you’re better off getting a taxi for most of the way and walking the last stretch.

Just like in Barcelona there is no shortage of spots for night-time action, but here the clubs and bars are a lot closer to each other – much like on Oxford Street. The outside area of Parrots Bar is a perfect spot to start the evening, it is laid-back and funky and the cocktails rock. Around the corner is Privilege, bright and colourful with disco tunes from the ‘80s and ‘90s and guaranteed to have a packed dancefloor. Time your visit well and you may even be treated to a live strip show.

For something with a harder edge head to El Horno Pub – a tavern style bear bar with a dark room in the back and perpetual porn on the TVs above the bar counter. Or try XXL just across the road from there: it’s sweaty and slightly sleazy and the DJ churns out excellent dance beats. The atmosphere is more than just a little cruisey with the shadowy bathrooms doubling up as dark rooms.

But before we can tackle the Sitges nightlife I first have to make my way through another Spanish dinner, this time alfresco-style in the backyard of El Jardín Restaurant. For a change the menu is looking all straightforward and I actually know most of the dishes from back home.

Pity that, I was rather hoping to have a go at some pickled tentacles tonight...